Those Things We Grow: Eyebrows

WHERE FASHION CONFUSES ME AND SOCIETY BEGS FOR MERCY.

I might be one of the 200 people left in the U.S. who still buy magazines. I scour the lots of them, pic who speaks to that days mood, and hug them as I leave the store. (No sir you may not bag/wrinkle and destroy my new magazine.) Elle is one of my dear friends whom participates in my drive home hugging randevu, and I’ve been noticing a lot of Eyebrow Disappearances post purchase. This new “no eyebrow” trend is sweeping over the nation in buckets of bleach and designer ads. It’s a landslide through haute couture, including Kendall Jenner’s non-exisiting brows for Givenchy’s Fall/Winter 2014 ad campaign. I get it… no eyebrows, no maintenance. And for a spanish girl I totally get it, those babies take as much maintenance as cheap nail polish touch ups. 

The look is androgynous and slightly confusing yet robotic in a good way. It’s like a confidence statement saying “Watch me bleach these bitches and still look fierce.”  And let’s be honest, half of women get the $7 weekly wax basically ripping of their entire eyebrows anyway, why not go for the bleach and ditch those costs all together?

Will I go for it?

I sometimes wake up thinking I can try things to be cool, realizing ever so quickly the innate action of trying to be cool viciously rips away and renders me instantly uncool. As I’m out of all schooling, I now realize that all decisions on trying to be “cool” relies heavily on personal comfort and rebellion…or an instinctive sense of style works too. So while I gawk over fashion, and beauty styles in magazines (typically deciding not to spend half my savings on a coat because it’s “the most gorgeous thing ever it has to touch my skin immediately” response to anyone within a 5 foot radius), some things just don’t resinate with me. So when this years bleached eyebrows reared its blonde head, I chose not to participate in the cool factor.

I’ve always had enormous spanish eyebrows. In fact my best friend of 16 years told me I had a unibrow upon arrival to this little state, and since I was not having it I took a razor to my face only to end up with a 3 inch gap looking something like Groucho Marx (below) for all of 3rd grade. It wasn’t until years later when mama bear took tweezers to my brow (yes singular) on an L.A. interstate that I finally learned how to control the beast before it connected to my hair line and took over my face all together. This led to several years of over plucking which is legitimately very stressful because you pull out one wrong hair and it’s game over for a month. So, remembering my furry browed roots years later, I was thankful to grow them back in and be on my way to the “power brow.” This was the one fashion statement I could participate in with absolutely minimal effort.

{My Groucho Marx Look}

{What I would look like with bleached brows}

If Lily Collins and Cara Delevigne’s eye brows could have a love child, those are the brows I will pray for for my future daughter. She will understand and accept them as a statement piece one day after years of labor intensive plucking and possibly a rebellious brow bleaching incident.

If we really think about it, bleach brows have been in fashion for quite some time. Lets go back a little; Alexander Wang sent bleached brows down his fall runway in 2014. Bottega Veneta, Kenzo and Marc Jacobs just to name a few, all beautify the bleached brow ads in this months Elle Magazine. Now let’s go back a little further; this trend did not grow overnight. Although in my head I picture someone like Alexander Wang taking to the streets with his silky black hair and bleached brows as a trial before his show, this is often not how these trends start; tis the runway that births these looks acceptingly or not. But, if we look at paintings of Queen Elizabeth, or even the Mona Lisa you will notice they too did not have eyebrows, raising the question Was this a trend that broke free again in the new age and we’re really just reclaiming it as a couture fashion newbie?

Me and my two facial caterpillars will continue to grow on and participate in the almost “power brow” fashion statement we had no idea we were rightfully birthed into and stay away from the bleach for now.

So is it really appropriate for someone to write this long about eyebrows whom 99% of the time has to pluck on the way to an event or outing due to forgetfulness? Probably not but I did it anyways.

Happy Bleaching/Plucking/Waxing/Shaving?

Photo credit: sofarsochic and stylecaster